I’m a catch. In the same sense that trawling boats pulling up nets of expensive Tuna fish often have a little random crab just clinging on for dear life to the net. I am that crab. I’m in the net. I’m caught. Ergo…I’m a catch.
*Plus Size, just so you don’t keel over and die because the “ugly little fatty” didn’t give you a disclaimer to warn you that she really likes food and shatters your fragile little male ego because you told your friend group you only date size 8 and below girls as that’s “just how you roll”.
*Here for something SERIOUS and meaningful. I swear if one more of you comes and tries and play BS games with me, you’re gonna drive me to a full blown h0e phase in my early 30s in 2 years time…and nobody wants that tragic and pathetic blood on their hands. Just be freakin’ honest with me. I’m not the only girl you’re talking to? Okay! Cool! That’s what DATING is all about. No need to go out there and give the whole “You’re the only girl I’m talking to and interested in!” crap and lead me along when you’ve really got about 50 other women on the table at the same time! Why lie? For the record though, I lack the attention span and mental/emotional acrobatics needed to “talk” to more than one guy at once…My pathetic Snap score is testament to that! 😂 If I’m here and active…chances are I’m currently dwelling in absolute solitude. Make my antisocial ways work for you!
*…If you’re still reading this..wow. Well done. You’re not easily perturbed. May I sweeten the deal for you a little then and say I’m a gamer, dragon/dog/cat/frog mum, practicing witch, otherwise pretty chill and that my seemingly “bad” attitude is all just a protective “defences up” bravado to dissuade unsavoury people from my life…? No? Not convinced…? Talk to me and find out then!
If I..:
💔 Click on your profile and don’t interact in ANY way = Not interested/mis-clicked, sorry…
🖤 Click on your profile and like a picture or two = Okay…you look interesting…but I’m too shy/socially awkward/feeling waaay out of your league to do anything about it. You’re welcome to message if you wish!
💞💖 Click on your profile and message first = I’ve probably half planned our future wedding and will break down and cry into a long island iced tea if you don’t message back. (Or..I guess I just feel you’re worth plucking up that extra bravery to try and get to know…🙃)
